Random Kaleidoscope of the Illusion Land
by nekokuro13
Summary: Planned to be a collection of random, short stories. Two chapters so far. Expect lame attempts on humor, adventures, and the kind. The latest story in the series: Kaguya found a cute cursed doll that would curse its owners to death, never leaving their sides until their doom. But she's immortal... Warning: Bad jokes from an inexperienced author ahead.
1. Suwako's Dark Counterpart

**Random Kaleidoscope of the Illusion Land**

_Hi again! Your favorite black cat author here! Okay, okay, I'm not that loved, I know. Okay, okay, lame attempt to gain sympathy, I know. Here is actually not a story, but more like snippets of randomness I thought I would try my luck and write on paper, uh, I mean, MS Word. Randomness of the Touhou universe. Some of them may be half-baked, lame attempts at humor, some of them maybe a short ride or adventure, or, yeah, yada yada._

_Stop rambling, Neko, just get on into the story, okay!_

_Ehehen._

* * *

_Okay, this here is a one-shot I've thought of in a sudden random burst of bursting sudden randomness. The inspiration came in a discussion with a fellow Touhou fan-fiction author. Well, let's just call that guy "V." No, the idea is mine, not his, but I thank him nevertheless. Enjoy._

**Randomness 1: Suwako's Dark Counterpart**

"Suwako-sama!" Sanae called out.

"Auu… What?" the child-bodied goddess replied tiredly without looking, flat on her stomach and reading the manga they had brought from the outside world.

Suwako Moriya was the true goddess of the Moriya Shrine, yet even her existence was not known to half of the worshippers of the shrine. The goddess of the earth had a child-like body, with medium-length blonde hair and an innocent expression, that quite a few times, some of the worshippers would mistake her as a child of the Moriya household, probably the shrine maiden's eccentric little sister. Her easygoing demeanor didn't help either.

Right now, she was wearing her usual eggplant-colored dress with white sleeves that had the green frog imprints on it, matched with her white knee-high socks. Her trademark hat, the one looking like a bulbous frog head, complete with the pair of round eyes was under her chin as she paid no heed to her surroundings, immersed in reading the manga she had in her hands.

"Suwako-sama!"

"Whaaaaaaat?"

"I know you're a god, Suwako-sama, but please look at me when I'm talking to you!" Sanae Kochiya the green-haired shrine maiden complained. She knew that Suwako was her ancestor, millennia old, and yet, sometimes she acted like a child, giving Sanae quite a handful to handle. Not in her usual apparel, the shrine maiden was dressed in clothing from the outside world, a long-sleeved shirt matched with a long skirt.

"You know how much you sound like the old hag already," Suwako grumbled, turning to look at her great-great-great-great… (the author lost count) granddaughter. And by old hag, she meant Kanako Yasaka, the other goddess of the shrine, with a grown-up body, poufy blue hair and a tendency to tease Suwako at every opportunity that presented itself. "Today's my day off. Ask her to wash the dishes for a change."

"Kanako-sama's down at the Human Village, gathering faith," Sanae replied, tiredness lacing her tone.

"That girl…" Suwako huffed. "I told her it's my day off. Okay, noted, the prayers and wishes will come pouring in any time soon, I'll see to them later. Humans, don't they know a god can feel bored too?"

"Um, Suwako-sama, I don't think that's what a god should say," Sanae reminded innocently, putting up a finger as if making her point.

"What do you expect? Except for the big guy, we either start off as humans, or were created from human faith, of course the side effect will be that we have human attributes," Suwako replied. That gave Sanae something to think over for quite a few seconds.

"So, let's say that for example, an alien race in some faraway planet would create a god and have faith in said god, the god would have alien attributes? Like, eating rocks, or sing using their stomach, or…"

"Or looking like mutant midget horses that fart rainbows and use the power of friendship and such," Suwako deadpanned.

"Uh…" Sanae were at loss for words. But then she remembered what she wanted to tell Suwako in the first place. "Suwako-sama, that aside, I want to tell you that Kanako-sama said we're going to host a prayer service tomorrow, because…"

"Auu… What did I say about her making decisions all by herself!" Suwako half-shouted, making a few geckos fall off from the ceiling.

"Okay, that was weird," Sanae tried to divert the annoyed goddess' attention, turning her face to look at the tiny fallen reptiles.

"Ahem. My point is, I'm in one of my mood swings right now. That's why I asked for a day off, and just as I thought I could rest a while without any care for the world, all of a sudden we're going to hold a prayer service and all, without even telling me! Who's the true goddess of this shrine?" Suwako asked pointedly.

"Yo' da man," Sanae replied with a mischievous grin, making the 'pistol' gesture with both hands, motioning towards her little ancestor, trying to lighten things up.

_She looks cute doing that, _Suwako thought inadvertently, but then she sighed. "Girl," she corrected, "not man. Anyways, as I said, don't you have any idea how, when you've been doing the same thing for centuries, once in a while you'll go through brief phases of boredom? I know it'll pass; boredom comes and goes, but, at least, let me have some time out and pull myself together once in a while when that happens. Fine… I'm going to forgive that for once."

"Thank you Suwako-sama!" Sanae gave the little goddess a peck on the cheek.

"Auu…! Don't do that! Don't do that!" Suwako protested, her cheeks flustered.

"And, oh yeah, tomorrow's prayer service," Sanae remembered. "A delegation of villagers will come and give their offerings and prayers, wishing for us to uplift the food shortage they're experiencing right now. And, the day after is that day of the month when the villagers will come all the way up Youkai Mountain to our shrine here, with me leading them, all to offer their prayers."

"WHAT? Two days in a row? What's going on here, we have a faith epidemic or what?" Suwako spluttered, incredulous.

"Aw… You shouldn't be complaining, Suwako-sama! This is from me and Kanako-sama trying our best to gain the trust and faith from the villagers all this time! It's not easy, but that's how we arrive at such a position already! We'll show that red-and-white that our shrine is Gensokyo's finest and most famous and most glorious and most…"

"Yeah, yeah, don't spam the superlatives, girl, I got your point," Suwako cut her short."But don't forget I worked hard too, granting what wishes they threw at us. It's no less tiring than your line of work gaining popularity in the village and all. I mean, what with the amazing amount of faith you gathered, I'm amazed there's no suitor yet coming after you. Maybe you should get away from that fierce-looking hag once in a while. She looks like a particularly violent mother-in-law."

"No, wha-what, aw, stop it, Suwako-sama! I'm still a schoolgirl in the outside world!" Sanae protested, blushing furiously. "Uh… Well, have a good rest, Suwako-sama," Sanae gave a bow and retreated, pushing open the sliding door.

"Hmm," Suwako grunted in acknowledgement, returning to the manga she read. "Aww, man! Enough with the fan-service already! What's with all these…" her voice trailed away when she saw Sanae still standing at the door, casting a quizzical stare at her ancestor.

"I told you, you shouldn't read that manga, Suwako-sama," Sanae told her.

"Then why did you have it in the first place?"

"Um… um… never mind!" Sanae replied, closing her eyes hard as if trying to stop herself from blushing again. She failed. "What I wanted to say is, you've been shut inside for a week already. Shouldn't you be going outside? It helps, believe me. I think, that's why you're feeling depressed in the first place!"

Suwako's grey eyes widened, staring blankly into Sanae's brownish ones. After a few blinks, "Thanks Sanae!" she spoke. The two words made the girl blush again, this time out of gratitude and modesty.

"You're welcome, Suwako-sama," Sanae gave a deep bow before retreating and sliding the door shut.

Suwako lied on her back and released a great sigh. _Maybe I should really spend time outdoors. Any more time spent inside and I will turn moldy._

That's when inspiration struck, like a flash of lightning. The goddess took her hat and held it against her chest as her lips split into a wide, toad-like grin.

* * *

The full moon burst into wobbly pieces like jelly as a pair of running feet stepped on the puddle the moon was in. The little girl wearing the big hat was sprinting underneath the trees, the trees passing by her as if they had feet and were running themselves. Her speed was unlike any human girl, as she chased after the youkai flying away. She doubted if even a car could outrun her at that speed.

Actually, Suwako was running at normal speed, only that she was using her earth-manipulating powers to make the earth move beneath her like a speedy treadmill, plus making the earth grip her soles with each step, so as to not make her fall or slip.

"Divine Sakura, Full Sak-," she was about to declare her spell card, but at the last moment, she decided not to.

"KERO LEAP!" she cried out, and with a great leap, she sprung to the air and tackled the flying girl and pinned her to the ground. The two tumbled down like a pair of crash test dummies, and when their momentum finally stopped, the youkai she chased was already knocked out cold.

_Kanako will laugh her head off if she heard me saying that. _She checked her prey with a pleased grin. All around, the summer night was filled with the noisy din of cicadas and the occasional cries of some unidentified night creature. "Ha! Took me one full day trying to hunt you!" she exclaimed, but the youkai girl she caught was still unconscious. "Never mind, I'll bring you back to the shrine and we'll talk. I hope you'll do your job well, you're supposed to be more intelligent than fairies, cause you're a Stage Boss type of youkai. Just, don't ruin my plans, okay?"

The unconscious youkai's head flopped limply, and drool escaped the corner of her mouth. "Fine, fine! Now, how can I return home without rising suspicion?"

* * *

"Where's Suwako-sama?" Sanae asked Kanako while eating her rice gruel. The two were sitting round a low square table where, opposite Sanae, was an untouched bowl of gruel.

"Probably slacking off," Kanako dismissed, the blue-haired goddess shrugging and tilting her bowl and scooping what was left in it with her bowl. "Cover Suwako's bowl, we don't want any flies or insects falling in, although even if they did, she'll eat it just the same."

"Ahem," Suwako pulled the sliding door, wearing a forced smile. "What was that again?"

"Welcome home, Suwako-sama!" Sanae greeted courteously.

"Why aren't you coming through the front door?" Kanako asked suspiciously.

"I was hiding in the house, to see if any of you are smart enough to figure out my hiding place."

Deep inside, she was smiling in relief. They weren't suspecting anything. Actually she used her earth-manipulating powers to tunnel underneath the shrine and pop up from underneath a loose floorboard she had marked as her secret escape route, bringing the gagged and bound youkai with her.

_How exciting, I haven't done this in a thousand years!_

* * *

The youkai girl woke up in an underground chamber. The walls were made of earth. Or rather, the earth itself was the wall. She tried to struggle, or cry out for help, but she was bound by ropes and gagged. "Mmmf!"

"Shimenawa," a hole appeared in the wall, like a door, and a girl no larger than she was walked out from the opening, her arms crossed. "Don't try to do anything. These ropes could bind even gods, and you, little youkai, couldn't even break one fiber of it. Now, I have a proposition. If you succeed, there'll be rewards. If you resist, there'll be _punishments_…" Suwako whispered sweetly in the girl's ear.

Then she explained her plans to the girl. After she was done explaining, she asked, "Agreed?" The youkai girl shivered before nodding frantically. Then Suwako pulled the gag off her mouth. "Agreed? Do I have your word?"

"Yes, yes!"

"Good. Now, this is a very risky plan. If you fail, the consequences will be dire. The punishments will be severe. Do you get it, kero?"

The youkai nodded eagerly.

"Hmm, all the differences, I'll need to cast some spells then," Suwako spoke her thoughts aloud. "This is not going to be easy!"

* * *

It was early in the morning. Suwako looked around to see if the coast was clear.

"Suwako-sama, I noticed, but when did you get your haircut? Your hair was… slightly shorter than I remembered," Sanae's voice nearly made her jump.

"Ahaha, really? Did I really?" Suwako gave a forced chuckle. "Well, you see, us gods, we can change appearance as we want. So what's shortening our hair by one or two inches? Besides, once in a while, a slight change of hairstyle would be nice. And, oh yeah, tell Kanako that, I'm bored of her Misae Nohara hairstyle. Got to go, bye!"

"Wait!" Sanae called out. "The delegation will come any time soon! Don't wander too far away!"

"I'll be here, trust me!" Suwako said, as she hastily put on her shoes and went in the lake's direction.

* * *

"Now, where are they?" Kanako mumbled, sitting on the steps of the shrine, as if trying to glean from afar the delegation that they're expecting. It was already evening. Autumn was already beginning, the leaves all on the red-side of the spectrum. Yellow, orange, red, brown, looking as if the forest itself was on fire.

"Well, they're going all the way up Youkai mountain, of course they're gonna take some time," Sanae answered with shrug. "Lucky we managed to convince a tengu to lead them, and for them to trust that tengu."

"Yeah, less work for you," Kanako replied, pulling a fallen leaf out of her hair.

"You know what?" Sanae began, "I was actually worried that Suwako would turn all moody today, now that we were asking her to handle a big crisis like this right after her first day off in years."

"Five years," Kanako added. "Well, some people get moodier the older they get."

"But she's looking fairly cheerful since this morning, although albeit too silent. She only said 'yes,' or 'no' and all that. And she won't come out from her room. But then, she is a shut in sometimes."

"I noticed. She won't let me open the windows of her room," Kanako told a puzzled Sanae. "Well, I guessed that being a goddess of the earth, you're more into the dark. And she even gave me puppy eyes. _That _sent shivers down my back."

"Wow."

* * *

"Moriya-sama, Yasaka-sama, and Kochiya-sama," the leader of the delegation spoke, a man with closely-cropped moustache and beard, kneeling in front of his comrades behind him, "I am Juichi Kisaki, the leader of this delegation. We are farmers, coming far to seek the divine help from the goddesses of this shrine to bless our crops and make them produce more for us to feed our families and the village. So far, we think that they were insufficient for us to survive this coming winter. And here, we present this jar of the finest honey from our bee farm, as an offering."

Kanako gave a lopsided grin. _Finest? Heh. _She doubt these men really had enough faith as to not keep the best for themselves, but nevertheless, she appreciated them coming all this way up the mountain.

There were about twelve men in the group, all dressed in traditional black kimono like a group of samurai and kneeling in front of the three goddesses seated in front of the altar.

Sanae suddenly stood up, "Sorry, no photographs allowed, Aya!"

_Click._

"Ehe, sorry," the black-haired tengu reporter apologized, but she already stowed away her camera with the picture, wearing a cheeky smile. With her black skirt, white blouse and camera, she looked like a tourist.

"We hear your pleas," Kanako replied with a courteous nod. "My partner here, Moriya Suwako, she is the goddess of the earth."

"Moriya-sama, please bless the earth, our crops and our produce," the leader continued.

"Yes," Suwako replied.

"Thank you," the man replied with another deep bow.

"Is that-I mean, yes, I will bless them," Suwako repeated.

"So you're having a food shortage?" Kanako asked, sounding talkative. "Let's discuss a few things."

Suddenly, a prickling feeling made Sanae look in Suwako's direction. The girl was squinting as if she was uncomfortable with the lighting of the room. But then, the room was already dimly lit.

The men were still kneeling, their faces down in humble submission. Suwako seemed to tremble for some reason she couldn't tell.

"Oh yes…" Suwako whispered menacingly, her entire body trembling. "I know one way to make food come from out of nowhere. With my power, there'll be meat all around… succulent delicious meat."

An awkward silence ensued. "Suwako-sama?" Sanae asked unsurely.

Suwako's eyes opened wide, a glazed look on it. Drool leaked out from the corner of her mouth. The sight of all the men exposing their necks was too much for her. "IS THAT SO?" All turned dark, and hell broke loose.

"WAAAARRRRGGHHHH! My head! SOMEONE GET THIS THING OFF! IT'S EATING MY BRAIN! IT'S EATING MY BRAIN!"

_Click. _A camera flash.

A snarl. "Is that so?"

"Someone hit that thing! SOBEONE HID DAT DINGGG!"

_Click. _A camera flash.

A dull thud. "Ow, that was my head, stupid!"

_Click._

A duller thud. "And that's! MY MANHOOD!"

"Kanako-sama!" Sanae's voice cried out, sounding panicky. "What the hell is happening here! Kyaaaaa! That was my b-THAT WAS ME YOU'RE GRABBING AT, PERVERT!"

BOOOOOOM.

Problem solved. And down comes the youkai, delegation and all. Plus a section of the shrine's wall.

* * *

Somewhere else in Gensokyo, Cirno the ice fairy cried out, "Rumia! Thees is not faer! How deed yoo get so powerfoooooooool?" as she got blasted away across the pond like a skipping stone before smashing against a tree trunk on the far side.

"Rumia versus Cirno! Rumia 99 - Cirno O!" the referee, Wriggle Nightbug declared.

"Eye want 9! And EYE AM THE STRONGEST!" Cirno let out a defiant shout.

"Auu… is that so?" 'Rumia' said tauntingly. "Iron Ring – Mythical Ring!"

BOOM. CRACK.

Overkill is over killing. Cirno stood no chance. Even the tree fell down from the blast.

"Woot!" the fake Rumia cheered. "This is one heck better than the arcade, baby!" Suwako was dressed in Rumia's western-style black vest and skirt, complete with the red ribbon-amulet in her hair.

"Rumia…how did you get this strong…" the green-haired great fairy Daiyousei moaned in pain. Unlike Cirno, she gave up on her 15th consecutive defeat. "Where did you learn all those tricks…"

"Call me a god, baby!" Suwako exclaimed proudly.

"AHEM," came the voice from behind her. For some reason, she got the feeling that it was something very unpleasant.

Sanae and Kanako were there, wearing wide, fake smiles, "Hi, Rumia…" Kanako greeted, showing more teeth. "Is this your twin sister?" she said, holding up the unconscious man-eating youkai.

_Dammit! I used every spell I could think of! Illusions! Spells to fool Sanae's youkai sensing, spells to change her voice, everything! That youkai must be the one giving it away!_

"Uh… guys, ehe, I can explain," Suwako tried to reason, knowing that the worst case scenario had happened.

"Sure… we want to explain too," Kanako continued, her tone menacing and poisonous. "How your little prank here had cost us a big fail. F-A-I-L, fail."

Sanae was not saying anything, but the creepy grin she wore made even her ancestor shiver, literally.

"You can take the youkai out of the dark, but you can't take the dark out of the youkai. A glutton will always be a glutton," Kanako spoke pointedly.

"Ahaha, guys! This is the prank of a millennium! I don't do these things often!" Suwako tried to come out with an excuse. "I'm just… winding out a bit. Ehe."

"You have no idea how small she looks," Kanako spoke to Sanae.

"Yes, Kanako-sama, Big Sister wants to give little naughty Kero-chan some punishment too," Sanae whispered menacingly, then she took out a pair of cat ears and a tail. "I think tomorrow's prayer service will need a Maneki Neko."

_Maneki Neko: A cat figurine, beckoning with a front paw, as if inviting customers to come to a shop or restaurant. It was said to bring in luck, customers, and profit. Google or Wiki Maneki-neko for more information._

"Wait, can't we discuss something else instead?" Suwako tried her best to escape.

"Well, either that or we'll call Yukari to play with you," Kanako still wore her menacing face.

"No! No way!"

"GET HER!"

"YAAAAH!"

"Ow! Owowow! No! That's not the way to treat your ancestor!"

"Wah! She look so cute with this! Kawaaaiiii!"

"You're smothering me with those-stop hugging me like a perv- no, not the tail, NOT THE TAIL, NOT THERE! Kyaaa!"

Wriggle and Daiyousei only watched with their jaws hanging open at the sight of the two Rumias, and the overpowered Rumia being forcefully… um… neko-fied.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_And so ends my first lame attempt at humor. Please review to let me see if I'm suited to be a one-shot author._

_Oh wait, there's an EX-Stage! _

* * *

**EX-Stage:**

The next day, a cat-eared Suwako sat in front of the shrine's steps, waving her cat paws. "Auu… why won't anyone come…" she spoke with tears streaming out of her eyes.

A tumbleweed rolled past in front of the shrine. Bump, bump, bump.

_Click. _And the tengu did it again. "Nice shot!" Hovering in the air, Aya gave her a thumbs up.

"Enough with the disgraceful pictures already!" Suwako shouted, losing her cool for once. It was the article in the Bunbunmaru this morning that made Kanako even more unforgiving. The title read, 'God is a Youkai in Disguise?'

"Eight more hours! Suwako!" Kanako's fierce voice called out from inside.

"Can I at least wear Pyonta? The sun is too hot…" Suwako sobbed.

"No can do," Kanako replied, coming out with Sanae on her side. "Oh, sh-it's that tengu!" And as quickly as a magician producing a card, she produced a huge log, holding up the log with just one hand.

_Click. _"Whoa, where did you pull that out from?" Aya asked, surprised, just as the log was raised high enough that its shadow fell on her face. "Uh oh."

BANG.

A shot zoomed past Aya and hit the log right near Kanako's fingers. The goddess lost her grip on it. It's Kanako's turn to say, "Uh oh."

"You rock, Random Tengu Girl!" Aya gave another thumbs up at the earmuffed tengu hiding in the bush with a sniper's rifle. The mysterious figure replied with the same hand gesture.

And down comes the log, goddesses and all.

"Ayayaya!" Aya exclaims, "YOU - HAVE - JUST - BEEN - LOGGED OUT!"

BANG.

And Aya was shot down by the Random Tengu Girl. For that pun.

* * *

_Teaser: Next chapter will be all-out madness and randomness! If I say try not to barf rainbows for the next chapter, I mean it._

_Summary: Kaguya found a doll that turned out to be cursed. Its curse was so powerful that it made each one of its owners terribly unlucky and doom them to their deaths, with only death being the escape from the curse. But we all know that Kaguya's immortal... Uh..._


	2. Calamity of the Cursed Immortals Part 1

_Hi again! Be prepared, for I shall drown you in lame attempts on humor and bad jokes! Fear me! Nyahahaha!_

_Well, I can already see the reviews coming. "This idea has so much potential. If only it's executed properly." Yeah, yeah, I know, I see that coming from miles away. "You call that humor?" Yeah, I know._

_Oh yeah, there will also be tiny scenes of self-insert, maybe in this chapter, maybe in the next. Just… don't get overwhelmed by the cheesiness. Because… I was._

_Yep, as usual, disclaimer: I don't own Touhou, or its characters. ZUN does. Be glad that I don't._

_Warning: Terrible humor ahead. I've never written anything this terrible my entire life. Try your best not to barf rainbows. _

* * *

**Randomness 2.1: Calamity of the Cursed Immortals (Part 1)**

Hina Kagiyama, the curse goddess, was set on what she was doing right now, which was… spinning and spinning in a carefree manner, humming merrily to herself. For her, it was a lonely life. No one wanted to get close to a curse goddess.

It was spring in the forest. The flowers were blooming; the animals were… ahem, having romantic moments, no further elaboration necessary. The sun was shining, the grass was green, the wind was blowing… all except for the area around her.

Flowers wilted, and what flowers that did not held a pale deathly look, like those on a graveyard at night. The animals steered clear of the place. It was never a good thing to start a love life somewhere cursed. It'll probably end up with a divorce, or lawsuits, or demonic mother-in-laws, or… oh, we're talking animals here. The sun was not shining here. In fact, it was more like it glowed, a mere sickly glare, making one wonder if he was still on planet Earth. The grass had a morose look on it. Don't ask me how that looked like exactly, I'm not that skilled with words. Wait, I was supposed to be just a disembodied voice narrating without a sense of self, right? And no complaining either, you're supposed to be just a disembodied mind reading this. Where were we? Oh yeah, the wind. It was not blowing, it was _breathing _in a sinister way, one would swear it was blowing in their ears.

Hina shook her head, wondering why on Gensokyo did everything had to be so dramatic around her. It was just a cursed feeling. The curse goddess straightened her aquamarine hair and fixed the white-frilled red ribbons on her head which had been made askew by her spinning. Waiting for floating curse dolls by the river was always boring work. So boring that she had nothing better to do than spin around. Somehow that dizzy feeling gave her a feeling of belonging, as if she was blending with the world and nature around her.

It was that time of the year again, when the villagers would float dolls containing misfortune down the river, hoping to cast away bad luck. Hina the Yaoyorozu no Kami, the misfortune goddess, would then scoop up the dolls and gather the misfortune, for it was misfortune that fueled her red-dressed self. She crouched by the water side, staring into the flowing water with her bluish-green eyes.

So far she had gathered 589 dolls, piling them at the base of a tree. There were many of all sorts and designs, but she particularly detested the Western doll with blonde hair and an exaggerated slim figure. _Are they teaching kids to be anorexic these days? Well, fitting enough to be a curse doll if you ask me, those thin legs are creepy. Even zombies aren't that thin. _Many of the other dolls were made of paper, while some others were made in the traditional Japanese style with elaborate kimonos, stoic expressions and black hair. _Aw… so cute! Can I call you Sa*ako?_

Leaving the dolls unattended was something that she'll regret later when without her realizing, an evil spirit approached the pile of dolls. And it was not just an evil spirit, it was a _naughty _evil spirit. Yes, there was a significant difference between an evil pers-I mean, an evil something and a naughty evil something. An evil something wanted to destroy the world. A naughty evil something, however, wanted to destroy the world, _just_ to annoy the heck out of you.

And when Hina returned, it was with horror for her to realize that the dolls were already sucked clean of their misfortune. By another doll. The possessed rogue doll, realizing that it was found out, quickly sprinted away before taking off to the air like a tiny ghostly apparition.

"Stop! That's my misfortune! Give me back my misfortune!" Now, those words would sound weird coming out from anyone but Hina. "I have waited for them for a year!"

It was a frantic chase, the doll having the head start and size advantage, slipping between the narrow confines of the forest. And when it slipped between a cluster of bamboo, "Fate – Old Lady Ogane's Fire!" Hina let go of her spell card.

The spell card erupted into a dazzling blast of flame, blowing apart charred and burnt pieces of bamboo, and jumping through the ring of fire like some B-rate movie heroine, ("Hey!" Hina protested, having had the feeling that someone was badmouthing her), she saw the doll floating midair, and she was… stepping on thin air. Over a sheer cliff drop. High, high above the ground where she could see the whole forest spread out beneath her.

The doll gave a mocking wave.

"Oh, geez, that was kinda cute," Hina spoke sweetly, "IF I WASN'T GOING TO FALL OFF THIS HECKING CLIFF!" _Now, Hina, you know that holding down the skirt as parachute only works in cartoons, do you. _"Aw, shut up already! I'm not giving free fan service!"

BUMP.

She landed so ungracefully, making a cloud of dust rise to the air.

"Ow…"

_You know, you could always fly. Everyone in Touhou can. Uh, except maybe for some PC-98 characters. Or maybe-_

"I was about to! But you distracted me! Aw, can't you just keep those annoying comments for yourself? I'm tired of breaking the fourth wall!"

_Must be your unlucky day._

Hina sighed, still sprawled face down on the rocky outcrop. "The irony… How can a misfortune goddess be unlucky? Eh, I mean, on herself. Uh, that's kind of confusing." In pain, she flipped herself to lie on her back.

And that was when there was a crackling sound.

Hina sighed again, "Let me guess. Boulder? Big scary heavy, crushing, flattening, tumbling boulder?"

_Yep._

"Can I smoke my last moments like one of those-,"

_Nope._

TUMBLE, TUMBLE, SPLAT.

"Agh!" a muffled voice sounded from underneath the boulder. "I broke something! Many… things…"

A dull rumble.

"I hate you," Hina moaned. The rocky outcrop she was on crumbled like a sand cliff, sending the goddess tumbling down with the boulder, always the boulder crushing down on top of her, _flattening_ her over the course of-,

"I'M NOT FLAT!"

Ahem. _Squashing_ her over the course of what felt like an eternity, until she landed onto a bush of poison iv-

"THERE IS NO POISON IVY IN JAPAN!"

_Uh… this is a gag story._

And so the possessed doll escaped. And due to the mass protests from the lame way the author narrates the story, the author was now going to jump off a cliff.

"Pick a higher cliff! That one is just two meters!"

_I'm sorry but the site does not allow posting of real-life suicidal attempts._

"You're the worst author ever! You didn't break the fourth wall, you grinded it into a fine dust and use it as your litter box!"

_Sigh._

Three more boulders dropped out of nowhere onto poor Hina.

* * *

**_About one year later_**

The bullock carriage stopped midway on the road. It was pulled by a pair of oxen, with two girls attending to them, one riding on an ox's back while the other one sitting on the driver's seat. Both of the girls would have looked normal if it wasn't for a pair of rabbit ears on their heads.

The one on the driver's seat was taller and her clothing looked like some high-school student, the girl wearing a white shirt complete with a tie and a purple pleated skirt. Her long violet hair had a metallic sheen as the afternoon sun shone on it. Reisen Udongein Inaba, the moon rabbit youkai, wiped her brow and sighed.

_All these just to buy some umbrellas._

The other rabbit youkai, riding on the ox, held an umbrella in her hand, humming merrily. Tewi had shorter hair than Reisen, and looked more childlike, what with her shorter stature, her one-piece white dress that looked like a nightgown, and her childish demeanor.

"Are we there yet?" a coquettish voice asked from inside the carriage.

"No, Princess," Reisen replied tiredly.

"Are we there yet?"

"I said no, Tewi," Reisen repeated.

"Are we there yet?"

"No, Princess," Reisen answered gently. There was a difference here, the princess Kaguya was the royalty, the lady of the house, but Tewi, she was just a co-worker in the Eientei household.

"Are we there yet?"

"Oh, for goddamn sake, you asked that a gazillion time already! Are you trying to get on my nerves, you little bratty git?"

There was a gasp from inside the carriage, and it was with horror that Reisen realized that the one asking the question this time was not Tewi, but the princess.

"Haaha," Tewi pointed in an accusing manner, "you called the princess a bratty git! I'm soo telling Eirin, I'm soo telling Eirin!"

"Have mercy…" Reisen pleaded. It was a hot afternoon. They were heading home from Kourindou, the shop that sold various goods from the outside world. They were supposed to just go and buy some things that Eirin, the princess' caretaker and de facto mistress of the house, requested, but then, Kaguya wanted to follow them, hence, the bullock carriage. The princess had never been a big fan of long walks or the sun.

"Stop! Stop!" the princess called out. "I command thee to stop this carriage immediately!"

"Uh…" but Reisen stopped the carriage anyway.

Kaguya herself opened the carriage door and stepped down. The Moon princess had long flowing black hair in a hime-cut, as, you know, hime means princess. This time she was dressed in a peach kimono with voluminous sleeves. She hurried down the carriage, and quickly went to the roadside.

There, perched on a twig poking out of a bush, was the cutest doll she had ever seen her entire life. Uh, scratch that. Given her having lived for over a millennium, it was the cutest doll she had in her memories, well, at least for the present.

It looked like a chibi version of herself. Okay, that pretty much explained why the doll looked so cute to no one else but her.

"Uh, Princess?" Reisen asked, unsure of what to make out of the situation.

The doll seemed to beckon her with the glassy black eyes and innocent expression.

"Wow, 'tis so cute!" Tewi exclaimed.

"No touching, it's mine!" Kaguya reminded them cheekily. Then she reached out with her hand to pick up the doll from the twig.

"Wait, twig? It's kind of white for a twig!" Reisen gave away what was bothering her mind.

"Shush!" Tewi silenced her as Kaguya advanced towards the doll, the eyes and the moe smiling face pulling her in.

"Why… won't… it…let go?" Kaguya mumbled, trying to take the doll off the clutches of… the skeletal hand. A decomposed skeleton was pulled out of the bush, some bits of dried flesh still sticking to the bones.

"GYAAAAAAAAAH!" Reisen screamed her lungs out. But Kaguya quickly kicked the body and the 'twig' back into the bush.

"What? It's just a fallen branch," Kaguya told her.

"Yep, just a fallen branch," Tewi agreed.

"No, I swear, it wasn't!"

"It was a _branch_," Kaguya stressed.

"Yeah, Reisen, it was just a branch. Were you seeing things?" Tewi said playfully. "Hm?"

"Yep, just an oddly shaped branch," Kaguya repeated.

"Well, she has the Lunatic Eyes after all, of course she's seeing things," Tewi said in a carefree manner.

"No way! I know what I was seeing!" Reisen protested. "Here, let me pull this-," but just as she was about to make a grab on the 'twig,' Kaguya and Tewi pushed her back.

"_It was a branch,"_ they repeated creepily in unison.

"Uh, Princess, please leave the doll. My instinct tells me it's not a good idea," Reisen continued. _A doll in a dead person's hand is never a good thing to take. _"It has 'evil' written all over it!"

"Aw, come on, what harm can it do? It's just a cute, harmless little doll," Kaguya persuaded, looking at the Moon rabbit. But as she turned and spoke, the jaw of the doll swung open, and a whiff of dark green smoke seeped out, spelling the word "EVIL." In capital letters.

"Waaah!" Reisen backed away, panicky. "I told you, Princess!"

"Eh, what?" Kaguya turned to look at the doll, but the doll's mouth was already shut and the smoke gone. "What's wrong with you today, Inaba?"

"Yeah, what's wrong with you today, Reisen?" Tewi echoed.

Reisen ruffled her hair in frustration. "I told you! That doll is evil! It's evil!"

Kaguya threw her a quizzical look.

The doll's arm moved, and it dragged its hand across its throat in a jerky threatening gesture.

"WAAAAH!"

"What?" Kaguya asked. The tiny doll repeated the neck slicing gesture, even having a greenish tongue loll out, and the eyes like a chameleon's.

Reisen answered in a strangled whisper. "The doll… it's…"

Kaguya turned to look at it. The doll was there, looking as innocent as before, no lolling tongue, no moving little arm, no mad eyes. "It's cute, right?" she said, hugging the doll close to her with a child-on-her-birthday expression on her face.

"P-p…Princess…" Reisen pointed, as the doll opened its mouth, and a dark greenish gas whiffed out, into the shape of skull and crossbones.

"Eh?" Kaguya turned to look at the doll, but its mouth was already shut, no gas, nothing, just a small innocent face staring blankly with glassy eyes. "Never mind, Inaba, you're being silly."

But then the doll leered, showing rows of sharp triangular teeth. "Princess!"

Kaguya turned to look at the doll, but its face looked as same as ever. "What?"

"That doll is evil!" Reisen protested. Meanwhile, Tewi was playing around in the bushes.

"Hey, look!" Tewi pointed behind the bushes.

"What?" Reisen hurried to the scene. Kaguya followed behind her, still cradling the doll with a big, carefree smile on her face.

"Weird branches, everywhere!"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Reisen screamed in horror. Skeletal human corpses were strewn on the forest floor, some dried flesh and strips of clothes still clinging onto the bones.

"Wow, those fallen branches really look weird," Kaguya noted.

"Are you BLIND!" Reisen hollered.

"Yeah, they smell weird too," Tewi added, ignoring Reisen.

One of the skeletal figures was positioned like a crouching warrior, with a sword in its hand, facing a tree trunk. On the tree trunk was words carved into the wood by a sharp blade:

_BEWARE THE DOLL_

"Uwaaaah," Reisen panicked. "PRINCESS! TEWI! LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS…!" she shouted, half-crying.

"Eh? Beware the roll?" Kaguya asked innocently.

"No! It said 'Beware the dolt!'" Tewi corrected. Although, corrected is not a correct term.

"Ah, I see. That's not nice!" Kaguya commented with a comical frown on her face. "What's a dolt?"

"PRINCESS! TEWI! LOOK HERE! IT SAYS BEWARE THE DOLL! DOLL! NOT ROLL! NOT DOLT! AND IT HAD A SCENE OF DEAD BODIES ALL AROUND IT! DEAD BODIES! WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?" Reisen lost it, spamming her dialogue box with Caps Lock.

"Ah, a dolt is… like Reisen!" Tewi deduced, as if she had not heard Reisen at all. "Ow," she said, as Reisen gave her a bonk on the head.

"Princess! Leave the doll here! Who knows what evil it holds!"

The doll stuck its tongue out and pulled a face, putting its thumb on its nose and waggling its fingers.

"Waaah! IT'S DOING IT AGAIN!"

"Eh, what?" Kaguya turned to look at the doll, but then, the doll appeared as innocent as always. "There's nothing wrong with it! Now… I think I've done enough walking for today. Let's get back home. This place smells weird."

"But, Princess…" Reisen pleaded.

"Last one to the carriage is a rotten egg!" Tewi exclaimed cheerfully, breaking into a sprint. Kaguya jogged after her, and Reisen couldn't help herself.

"I'm not a rotten egg!" she said, tears leaking from her eyes.

BUMP. Epic trip by Reisen. Tewi pulled back her foot.

"She fell for it," Tewi muttered.

"She fell for it," Kaguya repeated.

"I fell for it," Reisen spoke, face down on the ground. "Uwaaaaah…"

"Well, let's call it a day, Inaba," Kaguya said cheerfully. That's when the doll's eyes glowed softly with a green light.

VROOOOMMM. CRASH. WHAM. CRASH. VROOOOMMMM.

A huge tank the size of a house just flattened their carriage into a pile of wood and splinters. The random kappa girl riding it cried out, "Help meeee… I can't control iiiitttt!" and her voice trailed away.

"Wow, those are weird branches," Tewi pointed at the pile of wood.

Kaguya chuckled nervously. "Ahaha, yeah, a very weird pile… WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! How are we going to get hooooomeee!"

For once Reisen felt better to see someone else panic other than her, but then, feeling guilty for the thought, she consoled, "Aw, Princess, it's just a mile walk…"

"That's 1609.34 meters of walking! On foot!" Kaguya collapsed onto her knees, a hopeless expression on her face.

"No, um, well, at least the bulls survived," Reisen pointed out. "We'll just have a short, slow, peaceful ride on them."

But then the doll's eyes glowed again.

VROOOOMMMM. SPLATTER. MOOOOO! SPLATTER! VROOOOMMMM.

"Help meeee… I can't control iiiitttt!"

They could only watched blank faced how the oxen became red beef patty in just two seconds. Reisen covered Tewi's eyes with her hand. "Bullshit!" Tewi quipped.

"I'm sooo going to hit you, maybe with a washtub," Reisen spoke with a heavy sigh.

"Hey, we can fly, right?" Kaguya pointed out.

Both rabbits smacked their faces. Hard.

And thus, the moment they were about to shoot to the air, the doll's eyes glowed again, and three trees fell simultaneously, one falling over Reisen, one over Tewi and the other one over Kaguya. The two rabbits leaped out of harm's way, but Kaguya got caught by her legs. "Aaaah! Help me Eirin!" she cried out.

"Hey, that meme's famous!" Tewi noted. Nevertheless she helped Reisen blast away the tree pinning down their mistress.

"Uuu… I think I broke something," Kaguya said teary-eyed, nursing her legs. Much to Reisen's dismay, the right leg was bent at the wrong place. Uh, paradox unintended.

"Can't things get any worse?" Reisen asked with a huge sigh. "Princess, let me…" she grabbed the broken leg, and taking a deep breath, was about to correct it, but…

The doll's eye glowed again, and a sudden burst of wind sent some dust up Reisen's nose.

CRACK, "ATCHOOO!"

And when Reisen opened her eyes after the almighty sneeze, the broken part was bent… the other wrong way.

"WAAAAAAAAH!" went Kaguya. And Reisen was blown away by a barrage of Brilliant Dragon Bullets.

"Reisen! What the heck have you done?" Tewi asked with a cross expression.

"I'M SORRY PRINCESS! I'M SORRY!" Reisen bawled in dismay, sprawled face down on the dirt track with her bottom higher than her head.

That's when a sudden sound of fluttering wings made them turn silent in alarm. If only they were more astute, they would've noticed that the doll's eyes were glowing, even brighter than before.

A greater fairy with purple hair and dark blue dress shot out of a nearby bush. "Hohoho! We're going to start an incident! And Gensokyo shall know the true horrors that are fairies!" She was very big for a fairy, looking like a twelve-year-old, with an overwhelming malicious expression.

"Ha! You and what army?" Tewi challenged.

"GODDAMMIT TEWI! Of all punchlines, you chose THAT?" Reisen protested.

Thousands of fairies erupted out of the bushes, the trees, even from under rocks. Yep, you read it right. Thousands.

"ZUN will never approve of thiiiisss!" Reisen shouted as she shot to the air, Kaguya slung over one shoulder, as sparks of danmaku rained around them. And rain was an understatement. More like downpour. As if the Celestials themselves were emptying their buckets, lakes and septic tanks and everything from above. Which would explain all the colorfulness.

"Whhhheeeee!" Tewi exclaimed in glee. "Hey, no fair! You're flying faster than me!" And then, much to Reisen's horror, the earth rabbit launched herself like a bullet and landed on Reisen's other shoulder. "Cawwy me too!"

The trees below were then replaced by bamboo thickets, making them realize that they were getting closer and closer to their home. The fairies were in mad pursuit of the trio, like a gigantic swarm of bees.

And then, with great relief, the familiar view of the Eientei manor amidst the bamboo came into sight. "But it looked so small!" Reisen moaned.

"Hey! It was you who said it was just a mile!" Tewi exclaimed in Reisen's ear.

"Fly on your own feet then!" Reisen replied, sounding harassed. That's when they realized that on both sides of them, both flanks of the fairy swarm had overtaken them, like a pair of jaws just waiting to snap shut.

At this, a desperate idea formed in Reisen's mind. "Tewi!" she spoke.

"Yea?"

"Please forgive me, and don't haunt me if you die!"

"Eh, what?"

And before Tewi could say, 'What do you mean?' Reisen had already thrown away the smaller rabbit into the wall of fairies behind her.

"Waaaaaaah!"

"I'm sorry Tewi! I'm sorry! It's nice knowing you! I shall cherish our sweet moments together! Forever!" Reisen called out, tears streaming out of her eyes.

But instead, Tewi passed right through the wall of fairies as if it was but a cloud, unharmed. "Wheeeeee…" her voice trailed away as she disappeared from sight.

_God, I envy her luck! _Reisen cursed inwardly, stomping her feet. It didn't make her feel any better. She was midair; she had nothing to stomp on. And the fairies resumed their chase. Much to Reisen's utter consternation, they were already surrounded, the fairies already encircling them from all sides, even above and below, their little shadows blocking the sun.

"Oh hey, I forgot, I had this umbrella," Kaguya spoke calmly. "Aw, umbrella, sweet, sweet umbrella, please stay by my side," she crooned.

_The Princess already lost it! _Reisen realized. The fairies were getting ready to fire their danmaku.

"That's it!" Reisen got a flash of inspiration as a light bulb flashed over her head. But then a stray danmaku shot blew it into 1,655 pieces.

_Wait, you counted those? _

_Nope, I don't have to. I'm the author; I have complete control over causality._

Reisen snatched the umbrella from Kaguya's hands, ignoring a "Nooo, I was just about to name her Kogasa!" from the princess, she charged at the fairies, and just as she was about to get close, she let the umbrella open, creating a shield as they rammed through the fairy blockade.

"Ouch!" "Ow! Don't poke there of all places!" "Kyan!" "Meanieeee!" "My eyes!" "And that's my best skirt!" "Eye am the strongest!" "Rabbit nee-chan is mean!"

It was a bumpy flight, feeling like punching through a crowd of otaku. The fairies' small voices yelled and shrieked in pain, but somehow as if by a miracle, they made it through. "We made it!" Reisen exclaimed.

"Yay Kogasa!" Kaguya cheered.

That was when the leader herself blocked their way forward. "No way I'm letting you pass through! I am the strongest fairy in Gensokyo!"

"Hey, look! Nue having a tea party with Derp Vader!" Reisen closed the umbrella and pointed at the horizon with it.

"Eh? What?" the fairy turned around.

_Now, kids, don't try this at home. And yeah, adults too, or whoever you are reading this story right now. You're really sick if you do._

Holding the umbrella in front of her with both hands, Reisen zoomed ahead at full speed, declaring, "A MILLENNIUM OF PAIN – KANCHOU APOLLO 13!"

Poor fairy is poor. Now, imagine the most pitiful shriek of pain, so pitiful that the author did not have the heart or the stomach to write it.

Even the fairies were stunned. Thousands of facepalms. Literally.

* * *

Eirin was sitting serenely on the mansion's verandah, enjoying the scenery of the green bamboo forest. For some reason, they never fail to soothe her mind from all the heavy thinking she had been doing over the subject of medicine.

_Ah, I wonder what will today bring, _she thought, as her thoughts inadvertently dwelled on Kaguya. _I hope she's alright, _her thoughts continued as she took a sip from the cup of tea she had in hand.

CRASH. Tumble-tumble-crash!

She practically sprayed the contents of her mouth when she saw Reisen and Kaguya's crash-landing. "Princess! The heck just happe-,"

That's when with the sound like a swarm of gigantic grasshoppers, the sky turned dark. "Get in!" she called out after them.

"But Princess! Your leg was brok-," Reisen's sentence was cut short when Kaguya sprinted past her. Being an immortal, her leg had healed.

"Waaah! Wait for me!" Reisen cried out in fear. Ahead of her, Eirin shouted a command to all the rabbits of Eientei.

"SEAL ALL WINDOWS AND DOORS! WE HAVE A MASSIVE-SCALE FAIRY ASSAULT!"

The pharmacist was holding the sliding door open, and right when Kaguya passed through the door, she said, "Udonge, we're counting on you."

_SLAM. Click._

Reisen felt as if the world was crumbling around her. "M-master…" she moaned.

The sea of fairies roared its way towards her.

"This is the end, huh?" Reisen spoke to herself. She put on a pair of sunglasses. "I knew I'm gonna die some day! And I'll rather do it, WITH STYLE!"

_Insert epic music here._

_But NOT the national anthem. Ah well, if you insist…_

To Reisen, it was as if everything slow-motioned. All the noises quieted, leaving only her dull heartbeats. She slung the umbrella over her shoulder. "Fairies, we meet again!" She cocked up the umbrella. It gave a 'schiick' sound. "Not this time, fairies! NOT THIS TIME!"

She twisted the handle. A green LED bulb blinked. A metallic voice spoke from the metal rod: _"Thank you for using Umbrella Corporation's custom-made inexhaustible-zombie-exterminating umbrella. This was made for Undying Gensokyo, but unfortunately we never got the author's consent. So this ended up in this stupid story instead."_

"URAMESHIYAAAAAA!" the rabbit cried out, as the umbrella spitted out bullets at the rate of 13 rounds per second.

BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM- BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM- BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM- BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM- BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM- BAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!

Ows and acks resounded from the fairies, as they fell round her like rain. Reisen bent away many of the light danmakus, but still a lot of their danmaku hit her, yet she ignored them. _Wait, I can ignore hitting danmaku?_

That's when she realized that danmakus bounced off her like grasshoppers. She turned around, and saw a red beam shoot out of a hole behind her, which somehow seemed to heal her every wound and fatigue. She understood it as one of Eirin's crazy invention. "KYAHAHAHAHA!" she felt as if her screws had gone loose. "I AM BULLETPROOF!"

Inside, Eirin held the Healing-Ray gun, pressing hard on the trigger and crossing her fingers.

"What are you doing?" Kaguya asked.

"Ufufu… practicing medicine," Eirin answered with a manic smile.

Outside, the pile of fairies had grown higher and higher. Reisen continued firing, even feeling that she was enjoying it. She hummed, "Do you believe in magic… in a young girl's heart?"

Meanwhile, inside, the rabbits were rushing through the corridors, calling out, "All to battle stations! Shut all windows and doors! All to battle stations!"

Kaguya retreated to a sliding door on the opposite side of the manor, still hugging her doll, when suddenly, small fairy hands burst out, ripping the paper and flailing like zombified protuberances. "Waah!" she cried out in surprise. But then, thinking fast, she said, "Stay back! I got a chainsaw here, and I'm not hesitant to use it! VROOM BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM…"

Fairy eyes peeked through the hole.

PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTT.

And she peppered them with pepper spray.

"Ouch!" "Ow!" "EYE AM HURT!" _Whack._ "Shut up! You still think of a pun at a time like this?"

Meanwhile, on Reisen's side…

BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM. "Awwwwww yeaaaaaaah!" she exclaimed. But suddenly…

_Click. Click. Click._

"Huh? You said it's inexhaustible!"

The tinny voice answered, _"You have used your credit limit for this month. For extra download space, please recharge at any nearby prepaid centres. Thank you and have a nice d-,"_ SNAP. Reisen broke the umbrella into halves.

The sea of fairies still continued its progress, even if she had created a wall of bodies in front of her…

And of all things, the red Healing-Ray had stopped sending out its beam…

Inside, Eirin cursed the fact that she was out of Healing Juice.

Reisen realized that the end had come at last. "Ah, well, Tewi, Princess, Master, everyone, nekokuro13, it's nice knowing you all," she spoke. She took off her sunglasses, in slow motion, her face expression like a boss, and declared, "Hax Sign – Lunatic Sanguine Eyes' Insanity Crescendo™!"

_Hey you rabbit! That name's my copyright, why you!_

Bending the light waves and making the sound waves go crazy, she made all the fairies hear a deafening hum and see a pair of red glaring eyes that drove them to the point of madness.

_Outside, there will be NO sane survivors._

**_(TO BE CONTINUED)_**

* * *

_Author's note: And the madness is just beginning. What is the root of all these mishaps and craziness?_

_Kogasa: UWAAAAAAH! Why wasn't I in this chapter? It was even starred by a cool umbrella! And that rabbit even stole my tagline!_

_Teaser: Next chapter, Kaguya finally learns that the doll is cursed. FINALLY! She's putting everyone around her in danger! What WILL she do about it?_

_Uh… if anyone gets the crazy and improper references, or is overwhelmed by the mega cheesy jokes, don't blame me. Well I got this brother who is as insane as I am. Well, nearly. He's the one with all these cheesy kinds of humor, the references, and… *shudders* you know. I'm more on the cruel side._

_Please give reviews to convince poor sweet Reisen that she didn't go insane for nothing._

_Ehehen™. _


End file.
